It’s that time of year. The time when teachers relax, parents cry, and seniors everywhere wear odd little pointy black hats. It’s different this year, though, because this year it’ll be my former teachers rejoicing, my mom and dad dabbing their eyes with tissues as my name is called as I walk across the stage. This year it will be me that holds my coveted diploma in one hand, using my free hand to point and laugh at underclassmen that have to endure more years of high school. This is it. It’s here. The moment I’ve been preparing for as soon as I stepped into my preschool classroom thirteen years ago, Winnie the Pooh lunch box clutched in my hand, nerves, jitters, and spirits high beginning to start my education. And now here I am. I’ve made it. I’m graduating.
And on one hand, I'm like really glad that I'm finished. I'm beyond ready to trade in the plaid skort for swimsuits and flip-flops and start my summer. I'm ready to rid myself of the dreaded math busywork and endless criterions and terrible Central Catholic water fountains for good.
My motivation for classes are nonexistent at this point. I have the attention span of a gnat while "doing" (doing being a very loose, generous term) homework. I could care less about Hamiltonian circuits and critiques. I don't want to complete any more packets or write any more papers. I'm so done.
But on the other hand, I am so not done. I'm not finished hanging out with my friends. I'm not ready to say goodbye to all my underclassman buddies. What am I going to do on my Friday nights without football games? How am I going to make it through the year without the annual teacher skit to entertain me? How am I supposed to leave the last six years of my life behind and start all over?
Come on, I'm not ready for college. I'm never going to survive in the real world. I still get anxious before talking on the phone. I don't know how to do laundry. I don't know how to file a tax return. Sometimes I get scared before opening the oven because I'm afraid I'm going to burn myself. How does anyone expect me to not starve or accidentally die on my own?
Here you are, handing me my diploma, giving me permission to go out in the real world by myself and telling me and others that I am qualified, when in reality, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't remember anything about chemistry bonds or math formulas and sometimes I still have to take a second to remember how to correctly spell graduation.
But whatever. If nothing else, I can at least make fun of all the younger kids who still have to return to high school this early in the fall, while I start college later in the month - off to new and exciting adventures.
I'll be fine. After all, I've been preparing for this my entire life. I'll figure it out. I'm bound to have learned and remembered something useful along the way. I can probably fake it until I make it...right?
Graduation. Yay! (Kinda. Mostly. I think. I don't know.)
aww we're the same person! Yaaaaay for too many emotions.
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Ashley
5/21/2014 10:06:48 am
This is making me really emotional and excited to graduate. You're such an amazing writer Taylor and I can't wait to see what happens in your future!!
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Veronica
5/21/2014 10:31:20 am
This is like SO true! Graduation for myself is next week. Everything you said is so true. Im ready but not ready. Im excited but so nervous. Such an amazing writer you are. No worries. You'll do just fine. We all will.
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Grace
5/21/2014 07:13:35 pm
You're making me all nostalgic. I loved High School though and there was nothing I was ready to leave. I'm still not and I left 7 years ago. I'd like to think that the math and chemistry thing was inspired by my tears. It's OK, you don't have to admit it was, I know. Super blog!
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Kat
5/22/2014 03:27:58 am
Yep, this describes my emotions right now. I want to graduate so bad, but at the same time I'm going to miss all my friends so much, especially my underclassmen ones. In short I'm one big ball of emotions.
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kelsey
5/22/2014 03:28:07 am
Those memes describe my emotions every day so accurately because my attitude about graduation changes basically on the hour. I am in no way qualified to take care of myself or be a grown-up buuut oh well I guess! Great totally relevant blog :)
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Kristy
5/22/2014 03:34:55 am
This was great! I loved how your feelings went from emotion to emotion throughout the course of the blog! It was funny, and I could hear your voice saying these things. Great job!!
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Logan
5/22/2014 03:39:16 am
I actually have no desire to graduate at all, but nice try (aside from the dysfunctional water fountains and Criterions, that is. I want to get as far away from those as possible).
Prior to this year, I really had no connection with the class of 2014 whatsoever. Now, admittedly, I'm sad to see you all leave. Good luck and God bless wherever you guys go.
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Catherine
5/26/2014 12:11:58 pm
This is good. That first paragraph described my thoughts perfectly. I'm glad we're all kind of in the same boat. I'm gonna miss you so much next year. Stir up the mix with Kidz Bop-- er, I mean, in college.. Love you!
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Lexie
5/27/2014 03:54:05 am
Aww this was so true. I definitely feel the same way. I'm going to miss everybody so much next year, but I am SO excited for graduation. Good job!!
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Clark
5/27/2014 04:00:39 am
Love the reality that comes with all the excitement and Senoritis. The reality of what you realize you don't know and what you are not sure you will be able to handle. I wish I could offer some enlightening wisdom but the truth is that becomes the everyday thought of most adults. We are not sure if we've made the right decisions but we are adult enough to make one; we don't know what tomorrow will hold but we are adult enough to get up and face each day with determination and courage. So, Taylor, welcome to the beginning of your adult life; now, go out there and face it.
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